came back yesterday from the cycling thingy.. not veri streneous but tiring though.. weird. it was only the return trip that was the tiring one.. oh yah..saw mr toh at the esplanade while i was there.. expected to see chiu hao.. haha.. guess it was too late le..

it's just weird talkin to u about those kind of thigns and stuff.. ok fine.. u want somebody to listen to u..don't u have HER...i thought u said u love her alot.. maybe she is open to listen to u la..i just can't talk to u about that..frankly..i think it's sick..just sick.. who SMSes another guy to tell him u got wet dream 3am in the mornin? COme on man.. i wouldn't want to wake up and check a msg like that in the mids of the night.. all u want is a person to tell ur feelings and problems to right? tell the person that IS interested in listening to lor..

back..

didn't go for tuition this morning.. was too tired and too lazy.. so i sms the teacher said i wasn't coming because i didn't get enuf sleep for 2 nights.. haha..bad..

at least i was good enuf to tell her i didn't want to go.

need to finish all my homework by this weekend.. still left with geography , bio , chem and a maths...

must qiong le..

thanks to...:
lendl for cooking noodles
paul for lending me lock and key for bike
benny for closing the door, asking for directions , carrying other ppl bike up the stairs , leading the way, holding the torch, holding the plastic bag filled with 2 bottles of mineral water while cycling back and bringing the odor control spray for ur leg.
the rest..

the previous practise in band was alrite.. no mocking and stuff.. quite ok..but they were to obsessed with thier plan..which i think didn't realli work.. haha.. judgin from the last practise.. i think we go on stage throw face onli.. u guyz better practise.. hARD.. DAMN HARD

ang mo kio's seoul garden realli veri nice... thanks to my cousin who brought a lemon for his pepsi to make it twist.. favian came up with the delicius lemon chicken!

nice..

think going there again..soon.. the service there veri good also.. funny fat guy..fat and not veri funny lady..haha

oh yah..sorry guyz.. i thought u all new favian and weixiong was there.. i told someone.. but ic an't remember who..haha.. nvm la.. geography u all do le ma? i haven't touch...doing tml..

the first 'tuition' session with my cousin on chemistry was actually quite productive haha.. now i noe how to do the mole......... couldn't belive that i didn't realli understand it at all in the first place..haha.. should have started earlier..

basically that's was my week lor.. slacked alot.. tuition alot... waste money alot..eat alot.. scolded abit.. get bite abit.. get kicked abit..

oh yah... i htink my ankle's still sprained.. dunno is sprain or wad.. so long le.. since weixiong ramed my foot that friday until now.. still pain.. haiz..

heck

can play soccer can le.

maybe i going to eat prata tml mornin..cycle there.. eh? no cannot.. fatehr going cycling in the morning.. haha forgot..
oh well..

cya guyz in school soon..

lot's to say.. but i've got so much things in mind..i can't explain all.. coz once i finish one..the others are forgotten..oh well..do wad i can.
so rumours are out.. heck care le.. just dun expect to see the same me next time i go for band.
playnig tic tac toe online..crap.
er mei.. u are crazy.. wanna bao chou also no need like that mahz.. but haha..it's a nice plan.. yewtuck's got a blogspot.. ..
today played soccer... actually got up late in the mornin.. so no time to decide anything.. so rushed.. was supposed to think which to go to..soccer or movie.. and whether i wanted to go for band or bio.. but in the end.. i did everything.. not bad..
went for bio practical den band till 12..later went to watch yas and khartik play soccer.. humiliaing those peeps..later i was joined by te e2s and 4s..which is only a few..haha.. couldn't realli play much.. everytime i stretched my left leg.. move the ankle..it hurts.. so realli..soccer sucked today. after soccer actually told hl n eve i couldn't go coz i got no money n thought it was a waste of money. but hl made me feel bad about it.. den so many other ppl went to go watch.. so to join in the laughter...literally.. i went lor.. initially i wanted hl to treat.. coz realli no money..but my emergency money finally paid off.. haha.. pardon the pun. i actually kept $22 as emergency money in my wallet..haha.. cool.. oh yah..found my aranda membership card broken into 2..no 3.. with one small dropping piece at the top.. ju-on sucks.. lousy plot..lousy everything.. only the face scary.. it's the company that counts..rushed home for tuition , den the 3 girls went to watch jolin.. i think.. not sure.

ya..that's my life for today.. any questions? bwahaha..

ever realised how a person will get influenced so unconsciously in the real world? it scares me..

ok. i am cool. that helped.

i'm looking for a word.. someone that will go to any degree to do something just to get what they wantt or rather , where they want, the type where they don't really care about others emotions or anything, oh yah, these people also want lots and lots and lots of attention. what do u call this people again? i remember! they are called BLOOD SUCKING ASS HOLES

and guess wad? i know someone JUST like that.. and u noe wad.. U guyz noe him too! bwahaha..

everything is a joke isn't it? huh? wad is that i hear u say? what? u're just kidding? oh realli? what is it again? oh! so u think it's funny rite? well let me tell u this.. it isn't the first time.. it's not the second..countless times u made wrong judgements.. wrong accusations..and just wrong things.. wad the hell.. u want attention? go get it.. BY YOURSELF why do u have to push people in the water when after all, u just want people to look at the person standing next to the river.. the one laughing at the guy in the water..

yes..u entertain ppl.. yes, i noe u like to make ppl laugh , but spare a thought for the others next time u crap something up..

ya...today finally played soccer after Sooooooooooooooo long.. missed kicking.. but mostly i got all my stuff wrong.. alot off target.. damn.. got kicked by weixiong 3 times today when trying to block his shots.. pain sia my left ankle.. so many ppl asking me to go watch ju-on..so many ppl told me it sucks too.. bought match for eve.. costs $5.95.. didn't noe so ex.. aiyah..anything..
wanna play soccer tml again or not? haha.. can skip band tml.. got bio and chem! but got a maths tuition after that.. supposed to finish 2 of the 4 test papers our school gave by tml..she wants to see.. didn't do yet. how.. sure kana scolded tml. who cares..

hmm..testing my zonk board whether it works..the thing about blog u can't see immediate changes unless u have a new entry..haiz..slow ar..

long time never play soccer..mainly bcoz my soccer ball is at weixiong there..
have to zoom back after band rehearsals... giong to lend my 2nd sis cd player tmlz..wadeva lorz.. hope dun spoil can liaoz..haha.. trust her la.

what a girl wants.. thought it wasn't a movie worth spending money for.. i was right.. downloaded it.. first part took me quite long.. 2nd part took me the time it took for the first part to finish playing..cool.. just nice.. quite a nice show.. but veri mushy type.. not realli my type...but amanda bynes quite cute..not CHIO though..sweet.

finished paert of my homework.. cool..left 7 more..

i want soccer. i wanna feel..i wanna heal... blah blah..

any of u ppl out there feelin stressed? or u feel like shit? or u've lost something in ur life? tune in to friends every tuesdays at 10opm on Channel 5!

father's day today.. being the good son i am..i bought the same thing that i bought for my mum on mother's day! haha..

NOTHING

we gave up on the house.. oh well..mum didn't like it much..i liked the giant balcony and the nice view... too bad.. not practical enuf to convince my mum and brother to move..haiz..
maybe now i can get my father to give me part of the money he was going to use to move.. to renovate my room.. i wanna design it myself this time.. since i'm gonna be stayin here for quite long le.. haha.. see how lor..

no time to watch movie with u'all le la.. no time..realli no time..remedials this whole week..somemore got tuition.

chinese and a maths..

i need help on chemistry.. cousin supposed to come today to help..
she couldn't make it.. so she said to make it on weekdays.. nights.. see how la.

er.. think i owe u guyz an apology.. or something like that..

rite. so i dun play wc3..i thinik that's the main thing that is makin me drift.. heck.. i just have no interest in demons and magic..
reminds me of harry potter..eeks.. no offense.

Nemo is a good fish to find.. so is CRUSH a good turtle to meet..u noe? it's like WOAh , then it's like woooooah..and its like.. wOoOah.. haha..

just watched mtv movie awards.. nice..TATU performed their les thing again..this time with a whole lot of girls.. who stripped their skirts and blouses of half way thru the song.. then they were dancing in wadeva they were wearing underneath...cool..i was like shocked.. it's the awards.. didn't expect something like that to happen..haha..nice eye opener..haha..

nice.

u watched sco concert on the same day i watched benny's concert? hmm.. cool.. somemore same time got home..haha..

gtgz..bye.

nothing can come from nothing.. wad have u lost? nothing! cheer up you'ol bugger..

oh yah..now i owe benny $15.50.. weixiong.. i want my soccer ball back.. u borrowed.. u didn't return..

friday the 13th..yesterday..not veri suay..but still suay..

watched benny's performance which was supposed to start early and end early at around 8.30.. that's wad he told us..
but.. it ended up endind at 9.30..

we initially wanted to go eat after that.. kenny rogers..he said..but nooooooo...we had to wait for him until 10.30pm! bcoz his toa payoh co members were cutting cake.. and he didn't want to leave em.. crap.

ok maybe the performance DID change the way i think of CO.. but i still think Co ppl have a certain attitude.. dunno why..
it was good though, the music..GOOOD.. the pipa player is so sissy.. yuck..actually come to think of it.. i didn't realli hear benny himself playin.. heck..

after that went to eat at lao pa sa.. it was the only place open at that hour.. duh.. then couldn't catch the last MRT.. crap.. even ran to station. too bad..benny had to pay for the $20+++++++++++++++++ taxi ride..
bwahaha..

didn't do any studying this week though.. although i'm supposed to have finished a few chapters of chem and bio.. my homework is not even touched yet. nvm.. i'm going to do it in and hour's time.. new target.. finish holiday homework in this two days of the weekend..

cousin is coming over to help me in my chem tml .. good.. i need it

think shifting house liaoz.. but it's just another uinit in season's park.. but its big.. nice.. and airy..

and it cost about the same price as the present unit we're living in.. cool..
guess if we DO manage to shift over.. i'll get to design my own room..haha..and it's a change of view too..from the pool view.. to the city view.. argh.u'll get wad i mean when u DO come over next time.. IF that is..

yesterday they went to safra to play pool.. didn't call me..haiz..wadeva

ever realised how ppl just can't take the fact that 2 ppl can click so well just as good friends. perhap these ppl, just have such a patehtic life they have to blew up an issue ( one that is made up of crap ) of another person, just to get attention from people.

Perhaps.

now i understand. being a victiim of one of those crap stories u tell.. it's not the first time even. count urself lucky. one more time. strike 3..baseball terms.

u 3 ppl..wait..or isit 4.. u almost ruined my life.. stop saying those things.. it's stupid. and i always get shivers...don't say anymore. u the creator are the onli ones that can erase it.

yes.i noe.dun dare to care. it's my nature. i dun show wad i realli feel sometimes.. not that i'm a hypocrite of wad..just that if i dun feel it's rite..i dun show it..probably its the way i'm brought up. maybe that's why i think the rest are changing when acutally is my mind changing into a different view of the world.. its true right? when u get to noe more ppl...ur perception of the world will change. maybe i'm not strong-willed, easily get influenced..yes true. but i prefer to call it.. open-mindedness..i'm open to new ideas which i find cool..eeh?crap..talking crap..

it take both sides to realise..
2 to fight ..
conclusions can be wrong if u jump violently at it..
too deep and u may drown..
too tight and u'll suffocate..

thanks..u sorta helped me.. so ya..i'll lend it to u.. lakz la..

and benny..stop saying alamak.. i noe that's ur IN thing now..but it's sorta gettin nervy.. no offense.heck..it's a free world. do wad u want.

FREE WORLD with rules.. now wadz that supposed to mean?
huh? wad toking me?
crap..
postponed my a maths tuition..now doing..still got one tmapines sec school prelim paper one to complete and lots of other integration questions!!! haiz..

got a new free bag.

yesterday night..shiok..first time played soccer at night so competitively..8-10pm..with primary school friends and his.. two south africans joined in later..wait..or isit south americans.. who cares..they quite power..strong..tall..big framed..fast..creative..

got two blisters on sole of foot..too much friction. somemore small toe on my right foot has clogged up blod and blisters..and dunno wtf..

after that came back..got the worst cramps of mylife..first was the toe..so i stretched..than bcoz i stretched that part..than the hamstring cramp..than dunno wad to do..stretch one the other cramp.. so no choice..called mother.. on phone..i use hp call..our house..dumb..and i was in my room.worst still..she dunno what to do. so suffered in agony for about 15 min.. than smsed alot of ppl for advise.. haha..thanks guyz

oh yah..forgot to mention the court i played in was as big as our present school court yard.. and it's street soccer..alot of space..nice..
fully caged somemore..and best ..it's just two traffic lights down from my place.. can go there often liaoz..haha..

oh well..everypme take care. dun be a f-ed up person like me.. it'll lead to crap..

wad crap

-out-

inkjets outta black ink..gotta go to benny's house to print..haiz..so much work to complete by today ..so little time..and i can't believe i'm still sitting here crapping away at my com..
going to play soccer later at st soccer court near horizon gardens..probably about 5 mins away on bike.. see whether i can join hteir team or if not get them to come form one.. benny's going too..

8pm-10pm soccer with my primary school ex-classmates..how cool is that.. just hope that my blister on my right toe dun give me too much trouble later.. it's gonna hurt..there's supposed to be 3 weeks of HOLIDAY! a BREAK from school..guess wad.. seems that almost everyweek i've gotta go back school for remedial and stuff..worst still..my a maths and chinese tutor wants to push me during these holidays coz my results sucked..haiz.. still need to buck up on chemistrym physics and biology..gonna finish ten year series of those 3 sciences by these school hols.. at least i hope i can..

still on MC..but still want to play soccer..no choice..if not i won't get to play liao..somemore soccer ball not with me.. looking at the situation now.. seems that those that used to play soccer with me have lost that interest..no more lon ghours of soccer.. now the most i've played with them is 1 hr... haiz.. hope is just bcoz of the bad weather..and the Os..

i realli feel i'm driftin.. someone catch me and bring me back..please..

the things that he said weren't true..dun believe..that is if he said anything..she still crazy over u..i'm still crazy over someone else..
dun be so naive to believe things that dun have a basis..

only a few more months left and this is happening..crap..rather live with it then spoil it.

and u..i dun seem to understand u anymore..i used to be able to..but now wheneva u talk..i can't differentiate whether u are trying to be sacrcastic or trying to be funny..or are u just trying to insult me.. i dunno...realli dunno.. is it me whose changing or u ?

i realised y$#&%#^ is like rain..a conventional friend..comes and goes easily..

i've been thinkin alot lately.. crab breedin..how about it?

and also benn thinkin alot lately..

ohyah..anyone now a cure for sleepless nights before big examinations?

i can't..not like this..

Os was simple but i couldn't take advantage of the situation! crap..crap..

heard something about me..some created rumour again..
come on la.. i'm not that type..i wouldn't do such a thing.. in other words..its not TRUe..if it were true why the hell would i say it out loud! crap la.. i'm not that type of person..

ptm today..missed a one on one..so paisei..

Ok

didn't update this blog for a long long time now..stupid exams.
i did veri badly.. probably was the worst result ever of all my 15 + years of my life.. haiz.. failed 2 main subjects.. not counting social studies..howz.. i'm just not ment to be a science student

i think.


this few days...getting closer..like the feeling..think found liao..best friend..ie..
getting further..i feel.. from the other person.. don't know why..received news today..mixed feelings..sappy..haha..think p*&(k%^& is veri flirt.. dun u think so..realised h^%!&^5 is veri suitable for photo shoots...can be model. 2 short..seems 2 me i'm not 1 of them..haiz..why?..is it me who changed? or them? i suddenly start to find some of them rather childish.. even myself..i dunno why..but seems to making alot of new friends..he closest getting further..furthest getting closer..weird..why can't be selfish..have both parties..y come and go?

now for the REAL update..
sharon tan married.. to dominic heng..
failed chem
failed physics
c for chinese
c for bio
3 for maths
A1 FOR A MATHS
so horrigible.. how? horrigible.. dunno how to face parents..they probably will try to get a tutor.. but ain't it too late for tutor? have to try my best to save time.and money..mums gettin retrenched..she volunteered... guess have to rely on eldest mei liao..( i hope i can )
ok..did a weird thing yesterday.. as i was picking up a key chain ring for e@#$@% , i was on one knee, the words just came out of my mouth..haha.. weird.. luckily.. jokingly.. she blushed.

benny didn't wanna play..can't blame him..and he was finding for someone to ensure he doesn't make the wrong decision i think..thanks for finding that person..

have a new sorta resolution.no not resloution..resolution is always something i wun do.. so it should be a must do thing..nvm.. started doing today liao.. hope can accomplish..plannned out 3 week schedule to improve sciences. was abruptly destroyed.. demolished..by the Ms tanS' and morais's remedial classes.. crap..now must reduce to 2 weeks... lesser tuime to cover 1 and half years work! die.. mei..must help me! i am almost desperate for help.. MUSt ar..

oh yah.. outof that.. i got thrid for talent time solo catagorie... congrats to u weekeong.. u deserve the number one position..
ALiff... U sucked.
ok so u were more emotional than me..so wad? doesn't give a reason for judges to ...dotz..
my song was hard to express.. wasn't thinking of that SOMEONE when singing it..
and to everyone.. i was pointing at our class up there! not that person u think i was pointing to! haha..

thanks for ur support.. actually wanted to dedicate to 2e4 2001 peeps.. but later 4e2 peeps jealous..haha..
c0uldn't make it without u..

group.. i thought benny tried his best.. not bad.. it was ok la..
COP was alrite..

jerald ur guitar skills rocks. yewtuck..u should be in the top three, shakin ur bon bons..

beginning to see the darker side of #%^@$^ , oh well.. live by my nick... MY HOPE"S A DREAM.. this time.. my hope WAS a dream..
bcoz now there isn't any hope..

better conc on studies.. Os important.. maybe this time's result can convince parents i'm not jc material.
but wun i be bringing them into an awkward pos..they always wanted me to go to university..safe route..
not much money in savings left too.. no $$ to send overseas.. wad can i do..
i'm not like my bro..dun expect that. he was brainy.. i'm more arty sporty..i think. come on.. he went to RI! i went to wad AI!
he went to aj.. with a vision to take law in u..

that's not wad i wanna be.. nto a lawyer...not a doctor.. my dreams.. my aspirtations.. did u even botehr to ask? maybe u did.. when i wasn't sure..now i'm thinking.. but the options of them are not in JC..mine is in poly..

ok sure.. ofcoz i thought of the business thingy..whether i can get a job in this society..blah blah blah.. but think about it.. if i was real good at it? if i was the best at it.. won't it be a waste.. i'll be wasting my life on something i'm not even comfortable in.. imagine..


waD if i WAS....

is my hope really a dream? or is my dream this time really just something i can hope for..

someone pls.. answer..life is short