i realli hope the band works out. i mean. day and nite i think about it. i mean since i'm in one i should give my best and stuff right? at least do something during practices. ok la. today's jammin quite productive. cept tt the bass is not there. so had to sub with another guitar. shit la. where's my strap. 2 weeks liao. or more? den on the way back. zhiliang told me benny maybe cannot make it on 24th. i asked ben. he says can. i choose not to believe zhiliang. kok. come back and play if u can. 3 drummers better than 1. need to learn lots of stuff now. 11 songs. hope can make it. dun wanna spoil christmas. it IS gonna be christmas eve..

penang recharged me. i guess. more cheerful when i was there. no worries no stress no nothing. just eat and travel and sleep and watch tv the whole day. but i remembered when i was there, had this HUGE tendency to go jamming again. coz i wanted to show that we are better than those ppl playin in the hotel. and yeah, i think we are. but sometimes i feel that the onli person that realli wants to play in a band is me. show me u have that enthusiasm. it shouldn't be a chore. come on. its meant to be fun. the learning is enriching. the practices make u better. the playing is sensational. playing for a crowd, priceless. haha. come on. i noe u all have it in u. u got to let it out. enjoy. and can see alvin enjoying already. that's good. i can feel the commitment in him to learn, memorise and play. i noe u've got work. but this band is not the onli thing on my mind either. i've got other stuff to do to.

i guess i like wad i can get out of jamming. we amatuers showing wad we can do. create music. wad i realli like about it is when i just sing. sing out. its like shouting to an open sea. especially when u have to power over the rest of the instruments. it feels good just letting go. close my eyes and i feel it. who cares if i can't sing it well. i try. i listen. i listen to the other instruments. the rhythm. now, will someone pls lend me a bass guitar. the drum set's comin next week. borrowed ofcoz.

blogging. helps me recollect. think whether i'm realli over reacting over certain issues, also helps psycho-ing myself into believing certain things. why would i want to do that? i'm just human..

sometimes i envy others. happy go lucky, carefree. how do u do it? u dun ever seem to get angry.. i try not to. even when i am. but sometimes it can't be helped. u noe wad i mean. i'm just human.. mayb its the stuff he has.. able to relieve stress? i dunno..

its refreshing to see a familiar face, an old friend once in a while. to see them talk the way they do. amazing wad 2 mins can do.

amazing wad 2 mins can do. i was tired and all. a little bit frustrated. a little bit satisfied. came in to see. to help if anything. " go away " wad the heck. anything..

dodge ball. funny.

..coz i've got too much blood runnin in my veins going to waste. thanks rob.